Okay, okay, Harley.  I heard you.  There is evil in me that hurts all of my relationships (see part one of Tis The Season… Of Bad Blood on Soundcloud).  But what about the bad things people do to me?

Fair question.  Your relationships are not only harmed by what you do and say…   You are also hurt by others.   Let me share with you what I learned from a mentor.

Sometimes we hurt them.  Sometimes they hurt us.  And often it is both.  This side of heaven we will always be sinners relating to other sinners.

Here is a big truth.  Even when we are sinned against, we are responsible for how we react.  This is the only way we can hope to stop the destructive cycle and power of sin in a relationship.

Read Micah 6:8 for direction:

“No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good,

   and this is what he requires of you:

to do what is right, to love mercy,

   and to walk humbly with your God.”

God had this written knowing you would be sinned against.  And He knew our tendency would be to hurt them in response to them hurting us.

This is what we often do:

• I bitterly confess your sins to myself. “I can’t believe they did that to me!”
• I confess your sins to someone else.  “Listen to what he did to me!”
• I confess your sins to God asking Him to hurt them. “God… when are you going to finally do something to them?!”
• I confess your sins to you as I yell and scream.  “How dare you?!”

These ways of thinking about and talking about the sins of others are destructive because they fool us into thinking the problem is only outside of ourselves.  But the Bible reminds us that ultimately our biggest problem is still in our hearts because we now are dealing with our response.

Said another way… when our hearts have been dramatically hurt by the sins of another, we must guard our hearts so we are not trapped in sin’s destructive cycle.  Being hurt makes us want to hurt.  That makes our need for Jesus huge.

Being patient, humble, forgiving and gentle are not calls to roll over passively.  This is God calling you to actively respond… but to respond with His response.  

It is true, the best parts of life and the worst parts of life are all found in relationships.  God has given us what we need to navigate relationships between people who hurt each other.  He has given us His Word.  Don’t ignore it, don’t leave it on a shelf.  He has given us His Spirit.  Don’t ignore Him.  Listen to Him, don’t just do what you want.  He has given us the church family.  And yes… even there are relationships to navigate.

Even in the deepest relational turmoil, we are never alone.  While our problems have everything to do with sin, our relationship potential has everything to do with Jesus.

Hope to see you Sunday as the church gathers to celebrate together what Jesus is doing in our lives.